Busy Moms Guide To Building Self-Discipline and Leveling Up Your Life
Ever start your week all revved up, thinking, “This is it! I’m going to crush my goals! I’m finally going to stick to my workout, eat clean, and be the organized, calm mom I know I can be!” You’ve got a game plan, a list, and the self-discipline vibes to match.
But by Thursday, you’re lucky if you remember where you put your gym shoes, let alone get a full workout in. Sound familiar? Self-discipline can feel like this elusive, magical thing that we know we should have, but actually making it happen? That’s the hard part, especially when you’re balancing motherhood, life, and, well, everything else.
But what if we’ve been going about it all wrong? What if the key to self-discipline isn’t just about gritting your teeth and pushing through, but about a subtle, yet powerful, shift in mindset? That’s exactly what we’re diving into today.
The Subtle Mindset Shift That Made Self-Discipline So Much Easier
For years, self-discipline was my go-to tool for achieving everything I wanted. It helped me maintain a 3.9 GPA, stick to a strict diet to heal my gut, and balance school, work, and my social life. Discipline was how I powered through and got things done, no matter what.
But as life got busier and my goals grew, I started feeling the weight of it all. I was constantly pushing myself, trying to maintain that same level of discipline. But instead of feeling empowered, I felt drained. The more I forced myself to stick to my plans, the harder it became to stay consistent. Self-discipline started feeling like a burden.
Then one day, while listening to a sermon, the word “devotion” hit me like a lightbulb. I realized that devotion was the key to making self-discipline easier. It wasn’t about forcing myself to do things; it was about being deeply committed to my goals and values, with love and intention. Devotion felt less rigid, more flexible, and—most importantly—sustainable. It wasn’t about white-knuckling through my routines, it was about staying dedicated to what mattered most to me.
This subtle shift in mindset—from self-discipline to self-devotion—completely changed the way I approached my goals. Devotion made it easier to be consistent, because instead of focusing on the “have to” or the “shoulds,” I was simply committed to my bigger picture. And that made self-discipline feel more like a natural extension of my devotion, rather than a constant struggle.
What is Devotion, and How Does it Change the Self-Discipline Game?
At first, devotion might sound like something reserved for religion or romantic relationships, but it’s actually the key to unlocking lasting self-discipline.
Devotion is all about deep commitment, love, and intention. It’s choosing to dedicate yourself to something you care about—not because you have to, but because it truly matters to you. It’s not just about pushing through tasks or following rigid rules. It’s about showing up with passion, purpose, and love for what you’re working toward.
Why Devotion is a Game-Changer for Self-Discipline in Motherhood
In motherhood, discipline often feels like a heavy load—one more thing to force yourself to do. But devotion changes that. Instead of seeing your to-do list as a series of obligations, you start showing up for your goals and routines because you’re deeply committed to becoming the best version of yourself.
It’s no longer about grinding through tasks just to check them off. It’s about approaching motherhood with a sense of love and purpose, where your daily actions are fueled by what truly matters to you. And when you’re devoted to something, self-discipline becomes much easier because it’s driven by choice, not obligation.
Now that we’ve covered why devotion makes self-discipline more sustainable and aligned with our true goals, let’s talk about why consistency is the real game-changer—and how self-discipline is the key to unlocking it.
Everything You Want in Life Is on the Other Side of Consistency
Let me drop a truth bomb: everything you want in life is just waiting for you on the other side of consistency. Want a body that feels strong and confident? Consistency. Want a thriving business or career? Consistency. Want a marriage that actually feels like a partnership and not a to-do list? You guessed it—consistency.
Now, I know, you’re probably rolling your eyes thinking, “Ugh, consistency. That sounds so boring.” But here’s the thing—consistency isn’t just about doing the same thing over and over again like a robot. It’s about showing up for yourself, day in and day out, no matter how messy things get. It’s about taking those small, intentional actions, even when you’re tired, stressed, or would rather just check out and scroll through Instagram.
Consistency Is THE Secret Sauce
It works in fitness, it works in relationships, it works in business, it works in personal growth—basically, it works everywhere. Consistency is the key to, well…..all of it. And in order to show up and be consistent, you have to be self-disciplined.
That means doing the boring stuff—the mundane actions—over and over again, even when you’re not feeling it. But how do you stay consistent even when you don’t feel motivated?
The Myth of Motivation: Why You Don’t Need It to Be Self-Disciplined
We’ve all heard that little voice in our head saying, “I’ll do it once I feel motivated!” But waiting for motivation is a trap. You’re not going to wake up every day feeling like conquering the world. And that’s okay. If you’re relying on motivation alone to get things done, you’re probably going to find yourself stuck.
Motivation is fickle. It comes and goes like a gust of wind. Some days, you’ll feel unstoppable. Other days, your to-do list will feel like an Everest you’re not ready to climb. So if you’re waiting around to feel “motivated” to hit your goals, you’re likely setting yourself up for frustration.
You don’t need to “feel” motivated to do the things that move you forward. Want to know the secret? Just do it. Seriously. You don’t have to wait for the mood to strike. Devotion and self-discipline are the keys to taking action even when you’re not feeling 100%. Whether it’s getting your workout in, writing the blog post, or making the healthy dinner, devotion pushes you to get it done because you’re committed. It’s a lifestyle—one that keeps you on track no matter the mood of the day.
Now that you’ve got a better understanding of why motivation isn’t the key to success, let’s talk about how you can cultivate more self-discipline through devotion, and make it a natural part of your life.
How to Cultivate More Self-Discipline Through Devotion
Self-discipline isn’t some magical trait that you’re either born with or not. It’s a skill. A muscle. And like any muscle, with the right approach, you can grow it, hone it, and get really good at it. It’s not about being perfect or having some sort of superhuman willpower—it’s about consistently choosing your goals, your health, your life, and showing up for them. Over time, you’ll look back and amaze yourself at just how disciplined and devoted you’ve become.
And the best part? You can start right now. With the right mindset and a few powerful habits, you’ll not only build self-discipline, but you’ll do it with intention, purpose, and love for yourself. Ready to level up?
Start with Your “Why”
The first step to building self-discipline is understanding why you want to do something in the first place. Discipline often focuses on what you "have to" do—like exercising because it’s good for you or eating healthy because you’re supposed to. But devotion flips that on its head. It’s not about the “have to”; it’s about the “why.”
For example, instead of thinking, “I have to work out,” shift to, “I’m devoted to staying active because I want to feel strong and energized to keep up with my kids.” That shift alone makes it feel less like a chore and more like an act of self-love and care.
Grounding your actions in purpose not only makes them more meaningful, but it also fuels your motivation to follow through. When you’re devoted to your “why,” self-discipline becomes a lot less about gritting your teeth and forcing yourself to act, and more about feeling inspired to take action because it’s aligned with what truly matters to you.
Check Your Self-Talk
Let’s be real—self-discipline often involves a lot of mental battles. That inner critic can be loud and harsh, telling you you’re not doing enough or reminding you how difficult things are. When your self-talk is harsh, it’s harder to stick with your goals, and it’s easier to fall off track.
But devotion? It’s about being your own cheerleader. When you catch yourself being too critical, ask yourself: How can I be kinder to myself in this moment? Think of yourself as a best friend—if your bestie was struggling, would you yell at her to “suck it up,” or would you tell her she’s doing great and encourage her to keep going?
By reprogramming your self-talk to be supportive and kind, you’re creating a mental environment that’s conducive to growth and perseverance. The kinder you are to yourself, the more likely you’ll stay committed and consistent in the long run.
Flip the Script: “Have To” vs. “Get To”
Another game-changer for building self-discipline is shifting the way you think about the tasks you need to accomplish. When we say “I have to do this,” it feels like an obligation. And, let’s be honest, who loves obligations?
Instead, try flipping it to “I get to do this.” For example, instead of saying, “I have to clean the kitchen tonight,” try, “I’m devoted to creating a peaceful home environment, so I’ll take 10 minutes to tidy up.” Or, “I get to prepare this meal because I’m devoted to nourishing my body.”
This small shift in language makes a huge difference in how you approach tasks. It changes the energy behind them from “ugh, I’ve got to do this” to “this is part of what I’m choosing to do because I care.” When you shift your mindset from "have to" to "get to," self-discipline doesn’t feel like a burden anymore. It feels like an opportunity to live out your devotion to your life and your goals.
Prioritize Connection Over Perfection
A big part of devotion is connecting with your purpose, your family, and yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism, thinking that if we don’t do something perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. But perfectionism only sets us up for disappointment and stress.
Instead, focus on connection—connection to your goals, to your loved ones, and to yourself. When you’re connected to your why, you’re far less likely to get distracted by the need for perfection. The goal is progress, not perfection.
For example, rather than stressing about having a perfectly organized house, focus on how you can create a space that feels peaceful and inviting for your family. Rather than obsessing over the “perfect” workout, focus on moving your body in a way that feels good. Prioritize doing things that bring you closer to your goals, rather than aiming for a flawless execution. Connection is what keeps your devotion alive, and that’s what ultimately fuels your self-discipline.
Let Go of the All-or-Nothing Mentality
Perfectionism's close cousin? The all-or-nothing mentality. It’s the belief that if you can’t do something perfectly, then you might as well not do it at all. I used to fall into this trap all the time. If I didn’t have time for a 45-minute workout, I’d skip it altogether, convincing myself it wasn’t worth it unless I did it “right.”
But here’s the truth: small actions are still actions. You don’t have to do everything perfectly to make progress. Maybe you didn’t have time for a full workout, but did you manage to stretch for 10 minutes? That counts. Maybe your meal wasn’t gourmet, but you made a healthy choice. That counts too.
Self-discipline doesn’t mean doing everything to perfection. It’s about making progress, even if that progress is small and imperfect. The key is to keep going, even when it’s not perfect.
Be 100% In: No Room for Negotiation
If you want to build self-discipline and stick with your goals, you have to be all in. No “maybe I’ll try tomorrow” or “I’ll just skip today and catch up later.” When you commit 100%, there’s no room for negotiation with yourself.
Think of it like this: when you’re only 99% committed to something, that 1% is the wiggle room your brain will use to talk you out of it. “You can skip this today,” it says, or “It’s okay, you’ll do it tomorrow.” But when you’re 100% committed, there’s no room for those thoughts. You’ve made your decision, and you’re following through.
This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or never miss a day, but it does mean that when you decide to do something, you follow through without second-guessing yourself. A firm commitment makes it way easier to build consistent habits and stay devoted to your goals.
Creating and Practicing Intentional Thoughts for More Self-Discipline
We’ve covered how self-discipline and devotion go hand in hand, but the real secret sauce for lasting change is thought work. When you intentionally practice the right thoughts, you can create the feelings and actions that will move you toward your goals.
Let’s dive into how this works using the CTFAR model (Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, Result)—a powerful framework that shows you how your thoughts directly shape your results.
The Power Of Your Thoughts For Building Self-Discipline
Our thoughts are powerful. They’re the foundation of everything we do (or don’t do) in life. They shape our feelings, which drive our actions, and those actions ultimately shape the results we see in our lives. If you want to build lasting self-discipline, you’ve got to start by getting intentional about your thoughts.
Enter the CTFAR model. Sounds fancy, but it’s simple: Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result. Essentially, this model shows us how everything starts with a thought—and that thought sets off a chain reaction that leads to the results we experience. So if you want to change your habits, your results, and ultimately your life, you need to start by changing the way you think.
How Thoughts Drive Feelings, Actions, and Results
Let’s break this down with an example. Let’s say your goal is to start working out regularly. The circumstance here is the neutral facts…like you currently do not do any intentional workouts (or something along those lines) and that you have set a goal to work out 3 times per week. Your thought in the moment might be, “I don’t feel like working out today.” That thought makes you feel unmotivated, which leads to the action of skipping your workout. The result? No progress, no consistency.
But let’s flip the script. Instead of thinking, “I don’t feel like working out,” try this thought instead: “I’m devoted to staying active because I want to feel strong and energized….I’ll commit to 10 minutes and then decide if I want to stop or keep going” That thought shifts your feeling to something more motivating—maybe excitement, maybe determination. Now, your action is getting up and doing your workout. The result? Progress toward your goal, more consistency, and a sense of accomplishment.
See how the thought you choose shapes your feelings, your actions, and, ultimately, your results? The same process applies to every area of your life—whether it’s your career, your relationships, or your personal growth.
So if you want to be more self-disciplined, start by practicing intentional thoughts that align with your goals. Choose thoughts that empower you and drive you to take action, even when motivation isn’t around. Over time, these intentional thoughts will become your default, making self-discipline feel easier and more natural.
Cultivating Motivation For More Self-Discipline (Yes, You Can Practice That Too)
Okay, okay—I know I said motivation isn’t everything, and trust me, it’s not. But let’s be real: when motivation does show up, it feels damn good—and it can really help fuel your devotion and self-discipline. So while motivation isn’t something we should rely on, it’s definitely something we can practice and amplify when it does arise.
Motivation isn’t some magic feeling that just falls into your lap. It’s a product of your thoughts, your energy, and the actions you’re taking. So, how do you cultivate more of it?
- Practice thoughts that make you feel motivated: Start thinking thoughts like, “I’m excited to get this done because it’ll move me closer to my goal.” Positive thoughts create the feeling of motivation.
- Ingest content that fires you up: Whether it’s podcasts, motivational books, or following inspiring people on social media, feed your brain with content that lights you up and gets you in action mode.
- Amplify motivation when you feel it: When motivation shows up, don’t just let it pass by. Extend it, relish it, and use it to fuel your actions. Get into that high-energy state and take advantage of it.
The key here is that you don’t need to wait for motivation to fall in your lap. You can create motivation through intentional thought work and by surrounding yourself with things that get you fired up. And when you feel it, ride that wave to get things done!
Put Your Brain to Work: Ask Better Questions For More Self-Discipline
Here’s something I’ve learned over the years—your brain is like a supercomputer. The only problem? It’s running on whatever questions you’re feeding it. If you ask it shitty questions, you’re going to get shitty answers. But when you ask better, more intentional questions, your brain will get to work solving them—and trust me, it’ll start finding answers.
So, what do I mean by “better questions”? Instead of asking, “Why is this so hard?” or “Why can’t I stay disciplined?” start asking questions that shift your mindset into solution mode. Your brain will go into problem-solving mode and help you find answers.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- How can I make this easier?
Instead of feeling overwhelmed, ask your brain how you can simplify the task. This unlocks creative solutions that make the process feel more manageable. - How can I make this more fun?
Let’s face it: motivation loves fun. When you bring an element of joy to the task, suddenly it doesn’t feel so tedious. Whether it’s adding music to your workout or turning meal prep into a family activity, make it something you enjoy. - What’s going right?
We’re often quick to focus on what’s going wrong or what we haven’t done yet. Ask yourself what is going right—what progress you’ve made, no matter how small. This shifts your focus from lack to abundance and keeps you motivated. - What progress have I made today?
Even on tough days, there’s always something you’ve accomplished. Asking this question helps you acknowledge your wins, which fuels momentum to keep going. - How can I reach my goals more efficiently?
Instead of just pushing through, challenge your brain to think about smarter ways to work. This could mean optimizing your routine, asking for help, or cutting out unnecessary steps to make things flow more easily.
By asking better questions, you train your brain to focus on solutions, creativity, and progress—rather than getting stuck in the problems. This mindset shift can make a huge difference in how disciplined you feel and how much traction you gain toward your goals.
Ready to Cultivate More Self-Discipline and Make Mom Life Your Best Life?
Here’s the truth: self-discipline and devotion are the secret ingredients to consistency, and anything you want is on the other side of it. Whether it’s achieving a giant, life-altering goal, or simply feeling better in your daily life, consistency is the key to unlocking it all. Whether you’re ready to finally write that book, lose that weight, feel more connected to your hubby, or just decrease the overwhelm that’s been creeping in, you’ve got the power to do it.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the goal—what matters is your devotion to showing up for yourself. When you’re devoted, you don’t let excuses or distractions get in the way. You show up, day in and day out, building consistency and creating the results you’ve been dreaming of. The shift from discipline to devotion makes it easier to stay consistent, and it’s through that consistency that everything you want is within reach.
Get Clear on Your Next Steps With These 5 Micro-Habits
If you’re ready to step into that version of yourself—more disciplined, more devoted, and more aligned with the mom and woman you want to be—my Free guide, 5 Micro-Habits To Eliminate Mom Stress For Good is the perfect tool to help you start.
These micro-habits will help you work on both sides of the equation – the strategies and the mindset – to become more self-disciplined AND feel good doing it. It’s got 5 of the most powerful yet simple mindset & routine shifts to help you slay stress, stop the negative thought loops, and start feeling like THAT mom—calm, confident, and in control.
Because to really nail your self-discipline and start moving the needle towards becoming the mom you want to be and creating the very best version of yourself, you need both. You need the nitty-gritty habits and routines to make checking off your to-do list feel almost effortless and you need the mindset to become the kind of person who follows through no matter what.
Click here to grab your free guide – your stress-free, self-disciplined mom era starts now!
