Ditch the Fluffy Affirmations: Here’s How to Make Them Actually Work

Like so many women in my early 20s, I stumbled upon affirmations and thought I’d just cracked the code to life. It felt like I had unlocked a hidden cheat code—one where I could simply repeat powerful, badass phrases, and—poof—my life would transform overnight.

“You mean all I have to do is stand in front of the mirror, declare that I am wealthy, thriving, and radiating success, and then become that person?” Yes, please.

Naturally, I went all in. I stood tall, looked myself in the eye, and started reciting:

“I am wealthy, abundant, and thriving.”
“I am a magnet for success and positivity.”
“I am a goddess of health and beauty.”

And for a few moments, I felt it. It was fun. It was empowering.

But… let’s be real.

Standing in my bathroom repeating, “I am a radiant queen of calm and patience” did absolutely nothing to stop me from snapping at my husband when he left his socks on the floor for the hundredth time.

It didn’t help me wake up feeling refreshed after a night of broken sleep. It didn’t magically erase the overwhelm of mom life. And it certainly didn’t help me stay motivated to work out when I felt exhausted and out of shape.

The truth? I was doing affirmations all wrong.

So if you’ve been trying (and failing) to “affirmation” your way into being more patient, more energized, or more disciplined… keep reading. Because I’m about to share a way to actually make affirmations work—no “I am glowing and full of light” mantras required.

Here’s Why Those Fluffy Affirmations Don’t Work

Our brains are smart…like really smart. They know when we’re full of it.

When you stand there repeating an affirmation that’s wildly far from your reality, your brain doesn’t just believe it. It actually rejects it.

For example, let’s say you’re running on four hours of sleep, reheating the same cup of coffee for the third time, and you haven’t washed your hair in days. Looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “I am vibrant, radiant, and thriving” isn’t just laughable—it’s counterproductive.

Your brain knows it’s a lie. And when your brain calls BS, you don’t feel inspired. You feel disconnected from the words you’re saying.

And that’s why most people abandon affirmations—they don’t feel real.

The good news? There’s a better way.

The Secret To Affirmations That Work: “The Next Believable Thought”

Instead of trying to convince yourself of something that feels miles away from your reality, focus on affirmations that stretch you just enough—affirmations that feel possible.

Your brain doesn’t need you to leap all the way to “I am an unstoppable force of success and happiness.” It just needs the next believable thought.

Here’s what I mean:

👉 If you’re struggling to get through a workout, don’t try to force “I am strong, fit, and unstoppable.” Instead, try:
✔️ “I can make it through this one workout.”
✔️ “I am capable of showing up for myself today.”

👉 If your house looks like a tornado hit it, “I have a perfectly tidy, serene home” might feel like a joke. Instead, try:
✔️ “I can take five minutes to tidy one corner of this room.”

👉 If you’re running on fumes, “I am energized and thriving” probably feels ridiculous. Instead, try:
✔️ “I can take one deep breath and keep going.”

These next believable thoughts give your brain something it can actually get behind. They build momentum, and momentum fuels action.

And that momentum? That’s how real change happens.

Building the New You, One Thought and Affirmation at a Time

Here’s the magic of these incremental affirmations: they aren’t just about feeling good in the moment. They’re stepping stones.

Each time you repeat and believe a slightly better thought, you take a step toward becoming the version of you who does believe those big, fluffy affirmations one day.

Maybe, just maybe, after consistently telling yourself, “I can show up for myself today,” you start to believe, “I am someone who takes care of herself.” Then, eventually, you might genuinely feel, “I am strong, fit, and unstoppable.”

It’s like climbing a staircase—each thought is a step. And this process? It’s the key to achieving anything you want.

Because here’s the truth: Every goal—whether it’s a stronger marriage, a healthier body, a peaceful home, or a successful career—lives on the other side of consistency. And the only way to stay consistent? Believing you can.

Affirmations, when used intentionally, help you build that belief.

Let’s Talk About Affirmations and Motherhood

These affirmations have been nothing short of life-changing for me as a mom.

Motherhood is beautiful—but it’s also overwhelming. The sleepless nights, the messy floors, the constant juggling—it’s easy to feel like you’re just surviving.

But these affirmations? They help me see the magic in the mundane. They remind me that I’m not failing—I’m evolving.

Instead of beating myself up for not having it all together, I remind myself:

✔️ “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
✔️ “I can handle this one moment at a time.”
✔️ “I can find joy in the mess today.”

These little thoughts ground me, guide me, and help me show up as the mom I want to be—not perfect, but intentional and present.

Your Turn: Create Affirmations That Actually Work

So, where can you ditch those lofty affirmations and swap in a next believable thought?

What’s one area of your life where you can start practicing this today?

Here’s the thing: Every transformation starts with clarity.

If you’re ready to start shifting your mindset in a way that actually works, the first step is getting clear on where you’re at—and where you want to go.

That’s why I created the THAT Mom Clarity Calculator.

This free tool will help you:

✨ Identify the areas of your life that feel misaligned
✨ Get clear on the version of YOU that you want to step into
✨ Map out the next believable thoughts to help you get there

Because affirmations aren’t just words—they’re stepping stones to becoming her.