How to Build Habits That Stick As A Busy Mom (Even When You’re Exhausted AF)

Let me guess: you’ve tried building habits before, and they last...what? A week? Maybe two if you’re feeling extra motivated? But then life happens—kids get sick, the laundry pile grows into Mount Everest, and suddenly, your big plans to “get it together” are out the window faster than your toddler can spill their juice.

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you’re lazy or unmotivated or just bad at sticking to habits. (Seriously, stop beating yourself up about that.) It’s that the way most people teach habit-building just isn’t built for moms like us—moms who are juggling 37 things at once, running on caffeine and sheer willpower, and barely have time to pee in peace, let alone overhaul their lives.

But here’s the good news: you don’t need to be perfect, super-disciplined, or have a Pinterest-worthy routine to create habits that actually stick. You just need the right mindset, the right strategy, and a little help along the way. And spoiler alert: I’m here to help you with all three.

By the end of this post, you’ll have a simple, doable framework to build habits that work for your real, messy, beautiful life—even if you’re running on fumes. So grab your coffee (or reheat it for the third time, no judgment here), and let’s dive in.

Why Traditional Habit-Building Strategies Fall Short for Moms

Let’s be real—most habit-building advice wasn’t designed with moms in mind. It’s easy to say, “Wake up an hour earlier” or “Just stay consistent,” but those cookie-cutter approaches ignore the reality of mom life: unpredictable schedules, constant demands, and the sheer exhaustion of juggling everyone else’s needs alongside your own.

Take, for example, the idea of morning routines. The world might tell you the key to success is a 5 a.m. meditation and workout session. But what happens when your toddler wakes up at 4:30 asking for pancakes, or the baby was teething all night? Suddenly, that “perfect” routine feels like an impossible dream, and you’re left feeling like a failure before the day has even started.

The truth is, traditional approaches often rely on rigid structures, harsh discipline, and perfectionism. They don’t leave room for the chaos of motherhood or the grace you need to navigate it. These strategies can make you feel like you’re constantly falling short instead of empowering you to succeed in the small, meaningful ways that matter most.

What moms need isn’t more pressure to force habits into a life that already feels full to the brim. What we need is a way to align our habits with the version of ourselves we aspire to be—and to approach that process with flexibility, grace, and devotion to the journey rather than perfection in the outcome. That’s where the difference between discipline and devotion comes in—because building habits that stick isn’t about forcing yourself into a rigid system; it’s about committing to becoming the person you want to be.

Devotion vs. Discipline: The Shift That Changes Everything

For so long, we’ve been taught that discipline is the key to success. It’s all about willpower, sticking to strict schedules, and pushing through no matter how hard it feels. But here’s the thing about discipline—it works until it doesn’t.

Discipline relies on external force: “Do this because you have to.” It’s rigid, and when life inevitably throws curveballs (hello, surprise sick days or an overflowing laundry pile), discipline can leave you feeling defeated the moment you miss a step.

Devotion, on the other hand, is different. It’s not about checking boxes or following rules—it’s about showing up for yourself with love, commitment, and intention. Devotion says, “I’m doing this because I care about becoming the person I aspire to be.”

For example, instead of saying, “I have to work out every single morning or I’m failing,” devotion sounds like:

“I want to feel strong and energized so I can play with my kids.”
“I’m committed to moving my body because it helps me show up as my best self.”

Devotion allows for flexibility because it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. You can miss a day or pivot your plan and still feel aligned because your commitment is tied to who you’re becoming, not a rigid schedule.

This subtle but powerful mindset shift transforms the way you approach habits, helping you create systems that work for your life rather than against it.

Why Devotion to Becoming Her Is the Secret Sauce (and Why Discipline Alone Isn’t Enough)

Listen, discipline has its time and place. I mean, I disciplined my way to a 3.9 GPA to get into a competitive nursing program (and eventually a Master’s degree, too). I disciplined my way into healing my gut with a strict gluten-free, dairy-free, low-sugar diet. Heck, I even made my own lotion and cleaning products to go low-tox because discipline told me that’s what I needed to do.

And I’m grateful for all of it. Truly. But if I’m being honest? It didn’t exactly feel good. I felt like I was treating myself like a never-ending self-help project, constantly trying to "fix" something about my life. It was exhausting.

Enter devotion.

Why Devotion Is A Game-Changer…Especially When You’re A Mom

Devotion isn’t about cracking the whip or pushing through when you’re already running on fumes. It’s about shifting your focus from “What do I have to do?” to “Who do I want to become?” And let me tell you, that shift changes everything.

Discipline is all about the grind. Wake up at 5 AM. Journal. Meditate. Drink your kale smoothie. Check, check, check. It’s robotic, transactional, and honestly, kind of blah. Devotion, on the other hand, brings the feels. It connects your habits to a deeper purpose.

It’s the difference between saying:

Discipline: “I have to wake up early to journal because I said I would.”
Devotion: “I’m the kind of mom who starts her day with clarity and intention because that’s the energy I want to bring into my life.”

See the difference? Devotion makes it about you—your identity, your values, your vision. And because it’s about becoming the version of you that you actually want to be, it feels less like a chore and more like self-care.

And let’s be real: as a busy mom, the last thing you need is one more thing that adds to your overwhelm. Trying to “discipline” your way into new habits can feel like putting yourself in a pressure cooker, and honestly, who needs that? Devotion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook; it’s about showing up with a different energy—one that feels empowering, not draining.

When you approach habits with devotion, it’s no longer about forcing yourself to check boxes. It’s about aligning your actions with the woman you’re becoming. It’s not about fixing yourself—it’s about loving yourself enough to keep growing.

Okay, so how do you actually apply this principle of devotion over discipline to create habits that stick? Let’s dive into that next.

Practical Steps to Build Habits That Stick (Even When You’re Exhausted AF)

Alright, mama, let’s get real—you’re tired. Like, “Why do I still feel jet-lagged when I haven’t been on a plane in years?” tired. I get it. The last thing you want is another “10-step morning routine” that sounds amazing on Pinterest but falls apart as soon as your toddler decides they’re a nudist now and refuses to wear pants.

So, how do you actually build habits that stick when life feels like a circus? Let’s break it down into bite-sized steps that even the most sleep-deprived, coffee-fueled version of you can handle:

1. Start Smaller Than Small

Forget those grand plans to overhaul your entire life overnight. Start tiny. Like, laughably small. Want to journal every morning? Cool, commit to writing one sentence to start. Want to move your body more? Stretch for two minutes while your coffee brews. Small wins add up, and small feels doable, even when you’re running on fumes.

2. Attach It to Something You’re Already Doing

Don’t reinvent the wheel—just hitch your new habit to one that’s already rolling. For example:

Brush your teeth? Say an affirmation while you do it.
Drink coffee every morning? Use that time to jot down your intentions for the day.
Watch trashy reality TV (no judgment, same)? Do some stretches or light decluttering during commercial breaks.

3. Celebrate Like You Just Won the Mom Olympics

Look, you’re not going to get a trophy for finally drinking enough water or journaling three days in a row. And truthfully, you’re probably not going to get recognition from anybody at all right? So you’ve got to celebrate yourself.

Did you crush a habit today? Give yourself a mental high-five. Dance it out in the kitchen. Treat yourself to an extra drizzle of caramel in your latte. Whatever feels good—just make sure you acknowledge the win.

4. Let Go of Perfection

Newsflash: You’re not a robot. Some days, the habits won’t happen—and that’s okay. Missing one day doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re human. Devotion (remember her?) reminds you that it’s about showing up consistently over time, not obsessing over streaks.

5. Remember Who You’re Becoming

When it feels hard, remind yourself why you started. You’re not just trying to stick with habits for the sake of it—you’re creating the life you’ve been dreaming of. Picture the future you: Calm, confident, totally rocking mom life. Every small action you take is helping you step into her shoes.

6. Use Tools That Work For You

Let’s be honest: when your brain feels like a browser with 87 tabs open, the right tools can make all the difference. Having something to keep you on track and remind you of your goals can be the nudge you need to actually follow through. That’s why tools like my THAT Mom Clarity Calculator, Becoming That Mom Journaling Method, and Becoming That Mom Planner exist.

These aren’t just more things to add to your already-full plate—they’re designed to simplify your life, keep your new habits front and center, and help you step into the next-level version of yourself. Because when your tools work for you, not against you, staying aligned with your goals feels natural—not like a chore.

The Secret to Creating Habits That Actually Stick: Aligning Your Inner World

Okay, here’s the real tea: the key to creating habits that stick isn’t just about doing—it’s about feeling. Why? Because your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings drive your actions. Everything you do (or don’t do) boils down to one thing: you’re either trying to create a feeling or avoid one.

Let me break it down with some fun, relatable examples:

You scroll Instagram at 10 PM instead of sleeping because you’re craving some “me time” and trying to avoid feeling burnt out.
You promise yourself you’ll exercise, but then you don’t because the idea of sweating feels ugh (hello, avoiding discomfort).
You tackle a giant to-do list to feel productive or avoid feeling like you’re falling behind.
You eat that chocolate hidden behind the broccoli in the fridge because it gives you a moment of joy after a long day.

See the pattern? Every action comes back to your inner world. If you’re feeling frazzled and disconnected, it’s way harder to stay consistent with your habits. But when your thoughts and feelings are aligned with the version of yourself you want to become, those habits flow naturally.

When you align your thoughts with your goals and choose emotions that empower you, you’re no longer just forcing yourself to check boxes—you’re creating habits from a place of love, excitement, and purpose. And that, my friend, is the secret sauce.

Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, that sounds great and all… but ‘becoming her’ and aligning with my future self? It sounds a little… woo-woo. Like, how do I actually do that?”

Girl, I’ve got you. Let’s dive into the how in the next section. Spoiler: It’s easier (and way more fun) than you think.

Okay, But How Do You “Become” Her: The Secret to Becoming THAT Mom

Here’s the deal: becoming THAT mom—the one who feels calm, confident, and in control—starts with practicing the thoughts, feelings, and actions your future self would have. I know, it sounds a little backward, right? But here’s the truth: if you wait until you “get there” to start thinking like her, you’ll never get there.

Think about it this way: your current thoughts, feelings, and actions are creating the results you don’t want. That’s not a judgment; it’s just reality. So, if you want to create different results, you need to think, feel, and act differently. It’s like rewiring your brain to step into a version of yourself that already exists—you just have to tap into her energy.

Where You’re At vs. Where You Want to Go

First things first: you’ve got to figure out where you’re at and where you want to go. This is where a little self-reflection comes in.

What’s your current reality? What thoughts, feelings, and actions are keeping you stuck in survival mode?
Where do you want to be? What does THAT mom version of you look like? What thoughts and feelings does she carry? What actions does she take?

The Alignment Process

Once you’re clear on where you are and where you want to go, it’s time to align your inner world with that future vision:

Identify the mismatch. Ask yourself: Are the things I’m doing, thinking, or feeling today moving me closer to THAT mom energy—or further away?
Get intentional. Start practicing thoughts that align with your goals. For example:

Instead of “I’m such a mess,” try “I’m learning to create more calm in my life.”
Instead of “I’ll never stick with this,” try “Every small step I take builds momentum.”

Take aligned action. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to overhaul your life overnight. Pick one small, intentional habit that your future self would already be doing, and start there.

Practice Makes Progress

Let me be real with you—it’s going to feel weird and hard at first. That’s okay. Growth is supposed to feel uncomfortable. You’re rewiring patterns you’ve been stuck in for years, so have compassion for yourself. At the same time, stay committed to the process.

Because here’s the thing: time is going to pass anyway, and your future is going to unfold whether you’re intentional about it or not. Why not use that time to create the version of you that you dream about? Why not decide to show up for yourself today so your future self can thank you later?

Ready to Become THAT Mom?

Want to stop spinning your wheels and actually create habits that stick? The best place to start is with my free THAT Mom Clarity Calculator.

This simple tool will help you:

Figure out where you’re at right now.
Get crystal clear on the future YOU—your ultimate THAT mom energy.
Identify the key actions and habits that are going to get you there.

Because here’s the truth: the first step to becoming THAT mom is knowing where you’re going. Once you have clarity, you can create the habits, routines, and mindset that will take you there.

Want in? Click here to get instant access!