Why Moms Feel So Overwhelmed (& 3 Ways to Take Back Control)

Mom life can feel like a never-ending circus sometimes, right? Between the laundry, the dishes, the endless to-do lists, and the 27 different directions your brain is pulled in at once, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning. If you’ve ever wondered how some moms seem to have it together and never feel stressed….while you’re just trying to survive until bedtime, you’re not alone.

But here’s the thing—overwhelm doesn’t have to be your default. You can actually feel more in control, more at ease, and dare I say, even enjoy the chaos. Stick with me, and I’ll show you how.

Overwhelm Defined: What Exactly Is Overwhelm Anyway?

Let’s start by clearing something up: overwhelm is a feeling, not a fact. Yep, I said it. You might feel like your to-do list is endless, your mind is running in circles, and you’re juggling too many things to even count. But here's the truth: overwhelm is just your brain’s way of reacting to all the input, not the reality of your situation.

When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to feel like there’s no way out. But that feeling isn’t fixed—it comes from your thoughts, not from an ever-growing list of tasks. Overwhelm is like a traffic jam in your mind, caused by thoughts like “I’ll never get it all done,” or “I can’t handle everything.” What you think about your day, your role as a mom, or the way you handle responsibilities can fuel that feeling of being crushed under the weight of it all.

The good news? You can change how you feel about it. Because feelings are a direct result of your thoughts. But more on that later.

You’re probably thinking “okay right…but if overwhelm is a feeling not a fact, how come moms seem always to be so overwhelmed?”

Why Are Moms So Overwhelmed?

So why do moms seem to experience overwhelm more than anyone else? Sure, there are tasks to do—dishes, laundry, school runs, meal prep—but the truth is, overwhelm doesn’t just come from your to-do list. If it did, we could just check off a few boxes and feel fine. But that’s not what happens. Moms tend to experience a mental load that’s much heavier than the visible tasks on their list.

The Hidden Causes of Mom Overwhelm (It’s Not Just the To-Do List!)

Think about it: as a mom, you're not just managing your own life. You’re managing the lives of your family too. You're thinking ahead, planning meals, managing everyone’s appointments, keeping track of homework, remembering birthday parties, and, oh yeah, trying to find time for yourself. The mental juggling act is endless. It’s like your brain is constantly spinning multiple plates at once, and you can’t afford for one to fall.

Add to that the societal expectations and pressures to be the perfect mom, always put-together, and never seem stressed, and the overwhelm just piles up. It’s like this invisible weight that you carry around, even when everything appears "fine" on the surface. Perfectionism doesn’t help either. When you feel like everything needs to be done “perfectly,” it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you're failing if you don't have it all together.

The hidden causes of overwhelm are often more mental and emotional than they are physical. The endless task lists don’t just weigh you down—they also create a sense of perceived failure when you feel like you're falling short of an ideal standard. Overwhelm becomes a mindset, one that feels hard to shake, but it's not an impossible problem to solve.

So lets’s dive into some ways you can actually fight back against overwhelm.

3 Ways to Take Back Control and Eliminate Mom Overwhelm

You might be thinking, "Yeah, right—there’s no way I can feel less overwhelmed," or maybe you’re rolling your eyes at the idea of reducing overwhelm when it feels like your to-do list is never-ending. I get it. You’re probably wondering if these strategies will actually work in your busy, chaotic life. But I’m here to tell you—no matter how hectic things get, no matter what you’re juggling, these principles are THE key to not only tackling overwhelm, but also feeling more in control, at ease, and actually getting things done without feeling like a chicken with its head cut off.

Let’s start with the first step to making all of that happen: streamlining your day with simple routines.

Streamline Your Day with Simple Routines (No More Decision Fatigue)

One of the most effective ways to take control and reduce overwhelm is by streamlining your day with simple routines. Every day, you make hundreds of small decisions—what to wear, what to cook, when to clean, what to do next. And all those decisions? They add up. The constant need to choose and plan can drain your mental energy, leaving you feeling exhausted before the day even begins. That’s what decision fatigue does—it wears you out mentally and makes everything feel harder than it has to be.

When you build routines into your day, you take the guesswork out of these decisions. Whether it’s setting up a morning routine that gets you and the kids out the door smoothly or creating an evening routine that sets you up for a peaceful night, routines give you a sense of structure and control. They make your days feel more predictable and less overwhelming because you don’t have to think about the little things all the time—they become automatic.

This is about creating systems that work for you, not against you. By removing the mental burden of decision-making, you can conserve your energy for more important things and stop feeling like you're constantly scrambling. Routine gives you more brain space for the things that matter most—like being present with your family or enjoying a little peace and quiet.

Make Self-Care a Non-Negotiable (Without Squeezing It In)

Let’s be real—self-care is often the first thing that gets pushed to the backburner when life gets busy. Moms are constantly putting others first, but self-care is crucial for your mental and physical well-being—and it’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity. The reason it’s so important to make self-care non-negotiable is that without it, burnout is inevitable.

When you neglect yourself, you end up drained, irritable, and less able to show up as the mom you want to be. But here’s the kicker: you don’t have to “squeeze in” self-care like it’s some optional task. You can bake it into your day so it happens automatically, without the guilt or overwhelm of thinking it’s another thing to fit into your already packed schedule.

The key is to make self-care as routine as brushing your teeth. Whether it’s taking five minutes in the morning for deep breathing, a quick walk after dinner, or a relaxing bath before bed, these small moments of care aren’t selfish—they're essential for you to recharge. By making self-care non-negotiable, you're not only nurturing yourself, you're also setting an example for your kids about the importance of taking care of their mental health too.

Master Your Mindset: Overwhelm is Optional (Yes, Really!)

This one is a game-changer: Overwhelm is optional. Yes, you read that right. While you can’t control every situation or responsibility, you can control how you respond to them. And that starts with your mindset. Overwhelm is an emotional reaction to the demands of life, but the cool thing is—you can change the way you think about those demands.

When you shift your mindset, you shift your entire experience of motherhood. Instead of thinking, “I’m failing,” or “This is too much,” you can choose to think, “I’m doing the best I can,” or “I can handle this.” It’s not about ignoring the reality of your situation—it’s about choosing thoughts that help you feel empowered, not defeated.

Mindset is the secret sauce that turns overwhelm from something that controls you into something you can manage. When you master your mindset, you start to realize that overwhelm doesn’t need to be your default. You’ve got the power to change how you feel, even when the stress levels rise. And once you take control of your mindset, you’re no longer at the mercy of your emotions—they work for you, not against you.

You’re Probably Thinking…

You’re probably thinking, "Okay, that sounds great and all, but where do I even start with all that?" I get it—you’re already feeling overwhelmed just reading this. It can be hard to imagine implementing these shifts when you have so much on your plate already. But here’s the thing: these game-changers don’t have to be hard.

Let’s zoom in on some practical ways you can start integrating these strategies into your life today—so you can start kicking that mom overwhelm to the curb ASAP.

Setting Up Routines to Make Your Day Flow Effortlessly

The secret to eliminating overwhelm lies in setting up routines that tackle the never-ending, everyday tasks that always seem to pile up. When you create a plan for the mundane things, you free up mental energy and reduce the chaos in your day-to-day life. Here’s how to make those daily tasks feel more manageable and keep everything from laundry to dishes in check:

Morning & Evening Routines That Save You Time and Sanity

Creating simple morning and evening routines is the perfect way to start and end your day with less stress. By tackling small tasks every day, you prevent them from accumulating into something that feels unmanageable.

Morning Tidy-Up: As soon as you wake up, spend 5-10 minutes straightening up the house. Put away any items left out from the night before, make your bed, and clear off counters. This will immediately make your home feel more organized and set a productive tone for the day.
Evening Tidy-Up: Before you go to bed, do another 5-10 minutes of tidying. Put dishes in the dishwasher, fold any clothes left out, and clear clutter from countertops. This small act will make your mornings much easier and give you a sense of accomplishment.

The Secret to Meal Prep That Works (Without the Stress)

Meal prep doesn’t have to mean spending hours in the kitchen. It’s all about making meals easy and stress-free, so you can feed your family without the hassle. Try these tips:

One Big Prep Day: Set aside one day a week to do a big grocery shop and prep ingredients. Chop vegetables, marinate proteins, and portion out snacks. This means when it’s time to cook, all you have to do is throw things together.
Easy, One-Pan Meals: Opt for simple meals like sheet pan dinners or crock pot meals that require minimal prep and clean-up. These are great for busy nights when you want something nutritious without spending too much time in the kitchen.
Plan for Leftovers: Make extra servings at dinner to use for lunch the next day. This cuts down on cooking time and helps you avoid the last-minute “what’s for lunch” panic.

Time-Saving Tips to Simplify Household Tasks

Household chores don’t have to consume your entire day. By breaking tasks into small, manageable chunks and creating daily routines, you can keep your home in order with minimal effort.

Laundry Rule: Make it a hard rule to do one full load of laundry every day. This keeps the pile from growing out of control, and it ensures that you never have to spend an entire day catching up on laundry.
Dishwashing Routine: Always rinse and stack your dishes as you use them. This way, you’re not left with a mountain of dishes at the end of the day. And after dinner, make it a habit to load the dishwasher or wash everything right away to keep the kitchen clean and tidy.
Everything Has a Place: Make sure everything in your home has a designated place. This makes it easy to put things away as you go, avoiding clutter and making clean-up quicker and less stressful.

By implementing these simple routines, you take the mental load off your shoulders and make everyday tasks feel more manageable. These habits not only reduce overwhelm but also help you maintain an organized, peaceful home with less stress.

Self-Care That Actually Fits Into Your Busy Mom Life

The reason self-care often feels like a chore is because we treat it like one. We think we have to carve out hours for a spa day or an elaborate self-care routine, and that’s just not realistic—especially when you have a million other things on your plate. But self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming or expensive. It’s about making small, intentional moments for yourself that leave you feeling refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on the next challenge.

The key to making self-care stick is embedding it into your routines so it happens naturally. When you approach it as part of your day, rather than something extra you have to “fit in,” it becomes a habit that doesn’t feel overwhelming. Whether it’s taking a walk, doing a quick stretching session, or even just putting on your favorite lip balm, these small acts of self-care don’t take much time but can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Easy Self-Care Habits You Can Start Today (Even on the Busiest Days)

Self-care doesn’t have to be a major event. It’s the little things that add up over time. Here are some easy habits you can start today, no matter how busy your life is:

The “Hot Mom Walk”: Schedule a 10-20 minute walk during the day—whether it's during your lunch break, after the kids go to bed, or while you’re waiting for dinner to cook. Not only will this give you a physical boost, but it’ll also give you a moment to clear your head and breathe.
Stretching for 10 Minutes: Make stretching a part of your daily routine, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Whether you’re watching TV or listening to a podcast, take this time to stretch out tight muscles and give your body some love.
Morning Wake-Up Ritual: Set the tone for your day by adding a quick self-care ritual when you wake up. This could be something as simple as making your bed, drinking a glass of water, or taking a few minutes for deep breathing to center yourself. The goal is to give yourself a peaceful start before you dive into the chaos of the day.

These little habits and routines are like a soothing balm to your overwhelmed brain.

How to Make Self-Care Feel Like Part of Your Routine (Not an Extra Task)

The magic happens when self-care is no longer an “extra task” you have to add to your already overflowing to-do list. When you build self-care into your existing routines, it becomes automatic. Here’s how to make it feel like a natural part of your day:

Pair It with Something You’re Already Doing: Do you always make your coffee in the morning? Use that time to do something for yourself—maybe take a few deep breaths, practice gratitude, or listen to a quick meditation while you wait for the coffee to brew.
Incorporate It Into Your Down Time: If you have moments of downtime during the day (like when the kids are playing or during a break at work), use that time to do a quick self-care activity like stretching, journaling, or even putting on some calming music to reset your energy.
Use Routines to Automate It: Make your self-care routines just like any other habit. For example, if you have a set time every day to take a shower, treat that as a self-care moment. You can incorporate skin-care rituals, use your favorite shower gel, or take a few moments to practice mindful breathing while you wash up.

When you make self-care a seamless part of your day, you’ll be amazed at how much more energized and present you feel. It’s no longer a “bonus” activity that happens when you have time—it’s just part of who you are and how you show up for yourself. So, make self-care as natural as brushing your teeth, and watch the overwhelm melt away.

Mindset Shifts to Help You Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: overwhelm is a feeling, not a fact. And yes, you have more control over it than you think. It’s not about ignoring your responsibilities or pretending that things are perfect—it’s about shifting how you think about them. So, how do you go from being buried under the weight of overwhelm to feeling calm, confident, and in control? Let’s dive into the secret sauce to shifting those thoughts from “i have wayyy too much to do!” to “I’ve got this”.

How to Use the CTFAR Model to Turn Overwhelm Into Confidence

Okay, let’s break this down in a simple, digestible way—no fancy psychology terms or confusing jargon. You’ve probably heard the saying, "Your thoughts create your reality." Well, that’s exactly what the CTFAR model is all about. Here’s how it works:

C: Circumstance – This is the situation or event (e.g., you have 15 things written down on your to-do list, you have to pick up the kids at 3, and you don’t have dinner planned).
T: Thought – This is what you think about the situation (e.g., “I’m never going to get it all done”).
F: Feeling – This is the emotional response to the thought (e.g., feeling stressed or overwhelmed).
A: Action – This is what you do based on your feeling (e.g., procrastinating, feeling paralyzed, or rushing without focus).
R: Result – This is the outcome of your actions (e.g., not getting things done, more stress, etc.).

The magic happens when you realize that you don’t have to be stuck in this cycle. You can interrupt it by changing the thought. Instead of thinking, “I’m never going to get it all done,” try thinking, “I can handle this one step at a time” or “I have done hard things before.” That small mindset shift will change your feeling, your actions, and ultimately the result.

It’s not about forcing yourself to be positive all the time, it’s about recognizing that you control your thoughts, and in turn, you control your experience.

Practical Tips to Reframe Your Thoughts and Feel More In Control

So, how do you actually start reframing your thoughts and feeling more in control? Here are a few practical tips to help you shift from overwhelm to confidence—without needing a magic wand.

Recognize the Pattern: Pay attention to the thoughts that trigger your overwhelm. When you catch yourself thinking, “This is too much,” or “I can’t do it,” pause. Take a breath, and ask yourself, “Is this thought helping me?” If not, reframe it into something more empowering.
Turn "Have To" Into "Get To": Instead of thinking, “I have to clean the house,” shift it to, “I get to clean the house because I have a roof over my head and a family to care for.” This small change makes your tasks feel more meaningful and less like a burden.
Or Better Yet, Remind Yourself That You Don’t Have to Do ANY of It: You’re not forced to do anything, big or small. Whether it’s skipping the dishes, letting a project slide, or even choosing not to pick up your kids (extreme, but it happens!), you get to decide what’s important to you. Sure, there are consequences for not doing things—your dishes may pile up, you might miss a deadline, or your kid might miss a game—but you’re choosing your actions based on the outcome you want. This shift can make you feel more positive about what you’re doing and help you re-evaluate what’s on your plate. Is there anything you’re doing because you “have to” but don’t actually care about? Let it go.
Focus on What You Can Control: Overwhelm often comes from focusing on everything you can’t control. Instead, turn your attention to what you can control. You may not be able to control the never-ending to-do list, but you can control how you approach it. Break it down, one step at a time.
Practice Gratitude: Take a few minutes each day to acknowledge what’s going well. When you focus on what you have instead of what’s missing, you automatically shift your mindset to one of abundance and appreciation. This helps diminish the feeling of overwhelm and creates a sense of calm and gratitude.

By shifting your thoughts, you can turn overwhelm from something that feels out of your control to something you can handle with ease and confidence. It all starts with the way you think about your day—and the more you practice these mindset shifts, the more natural they’ll become.

Ready to Take Back Control and Stop Feeling Overwhelmed?

You’ve got this, mama. Seriously. If you’ve made it this far, you’re already on the path to ditching overwhelm and taking back control of your life. It’s time to put all those strategies into action and start creating a life that flows effortlessly.

By now, you know that overwhelm doesn’t have to be your default. By streamlining your routines, prioritizing self-care, and shifting your mindset, you can start showing up as the confident, in-control mom you’re meant to be. And it all starts with mastering the basics—getting those daily routines down and making small mindset shifts that change the way you experience your life.

Want to Kick Overwhelm to the Curb for Good? Download My Free Guide!

Here’s the thing: mastering your routines and mindset doesn’t have to be overwhelming in itself. That’s exactly why I created my free guide, “5 Micro-Habits to Eliminate Mom Stress for Good”—to help you start making small, strategic shifts that will reduce stress, bring more ease into your life, and help you actually enjoy your day-to-day.

In this freebie, I break down simple habits that you can start TODAY to get a handle on the routine side of things, while also introducing small mindset shifts that will make you feel in control and confident. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel—you just need to implement these easy micro-habits into your daily life and start seeing the difference almost immediately.

When you master these two things—routines and mindset—everything else becomes so much easier. You’ll start to see the stress melt away, and life will feel more aligned, peaceful, and manageable. No more feeling like you’re constantly scrambling, no more “overwhelm” taking over.

Ready to get started? Click below to grab your free guide and start kicking mom stress to the curb today. Let’s do this!